L O V E .

today something crazy happened.

i was journaling on my computer, like i try to do daily. just the daily ins & outs of my mind. what this day in the history of mary grace has looked like.

and as i was typing something that turned out to look like a letter to myself, this crazy thing happened.

i called myself L O V E . 

now this might sound really dumb to some of you. but if you’ve followed any of my blogging throughout the years, you know that my site directly before this one was called love your love.

the idea behind it was not to say love yourself, but rather, love your love because we should be able to wake up & look in the mirror each day and call ourselves love and show to ourselves the love we more easily show to other people.

and friends, tonight i called myself love.

but i’ll be honest, it came as quite a shock to me.

lately, i have not done a very good job at loving myself {at least not consciously}.

skipping meals, extended time in front of the mirror, and mind obsession could more accurately depict the past few weeks better than the word love.

but for some reason love is was my subconscious chose to use to describe me tonight.

and though i don’t quite understand it, i am very thankful that this is the word my mind chose.

you see, it gives me hope.

hope that inside of me there still is still a fighter.

because even though leading up to the word love in the letter i was writing, i had listed out lies & fears & doubts about myself, my soul still mustered up the courage to call itself love.

i have always known i carry a resilience about me.

if my mind, which spent all day criticizing my stomach, eating habits, life decisions, etc. somehow managed to pull out a term of affection & endearment to describe itself at the very end of the day, there is still something inside of me that wants to fight.

and friends, i believe there is a fighter & a spirit of resilience inside of you too.

we were not made to spend our lives feeling defeated. and our souls know that.

which is why i think my mind took the appropriate timing in the midst of the fears & overwhelming thoughts tonight to say.

hey, you weren’t made to tell yourself these thoughts. you were made to be, show & feel love. i know you don’t see it tonight, but i’m just gonna remind you. there’s a reason you still fight.

dare to speak these truths to your souls tonight, loves?