brokenness to beauty.

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“some of the most beautiful things i’ve seen and experienced have come from the most broken of places #brokennesstobeauty #lemonstolemonade”

little me, sophomore in college, tweeted this two years ago. and older me, reminded of this truth by a timehop app, couldn’t agree with more with what my younger self had to say.

i honestly don’t remember exactly what inspired this tweet two years ago. there are many moments in my life when i get reflective so i honestly don’t recall if it was a massive reflective moment or just a little #marymoment as i call them now.

but the truth behind that statement came roaring back to me this morning as i saw this tweet on my screen.

how many times does it take having the horrible things happen, for us to grow & change & improve & learn & then finally experience joy again?

it doesn’t seem ideal. why do we have to experience pain at all?

but i am learning, the more i go through life, that although they hurt me & challenged my faith & my strength, i wouldn’t take back a single trial i have faced.

i wouldn’t take back the hospitalizations, the hurtful words, the broken hearts, the difficult decisions, because it’s a lot more than “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

it’s more like, what doesn’t kill you makes you.

yes, i did mean to leave that sentence seemingly unfinished. but it is finished. what doesn’t kill us has now come to shape us. and we have those lessons stored up in us for a reason.

maybe it’s our own evidence that life goes on. and that not only does it “go on” from where you have been hurt. it improves. circumstances change, and although people may have left our lives, we will live & we will grow & we will come to find joy again. and although nothing can replace what we once had, i have often found that there is a richness to this new joy we experience, because we have experienced pain & because we have prevailed.

or maybe our pain is our light. the thing that tells other people, it’s possible to get through this. the thing that tells someone they are not alone in their struggle and that help & hope our possible.

i have personally found myself using my pain in both of these ways. neither is right or wrong and they are not exclusive.

but what is important is that we recognize that pain is not pointless, and God is not some evil puppeteer in the sky finding delight in our suffering.

i am able to say that last part because, well, i have thought that of God many times.

but it’s not true. i know it’s not.

because as time goes on, i have begun to be thankful that God allowed trials into my life and escorted people out of my life, because now i know that He knew i needed to learn from these things.

it’s hard to admit it though, that God knows best. especially when He is prying out of your hands or has even already taken away something you hold dear.

but look back, i dare you to look back with me.

is He not good?

what has He done that has reminded you of this?

for me sometimes it takes me looking back to high school & college & body image struggles & relationships i longed for then. and i think “oh God thank you that didn’t work out. You know so much better than i do.”

see, those situations & maybe even your current situation may hurt.

but i promise you, your brokenness will become beauty.

i am speaking this as a young woman who has seen it happen & is still waiting to see it happen in many areas of her life.

He doesn’t leave us or forsake us in our pain, or in any situation for that matter.

and in the lyrics of a song that i wrote on a hospital bed many years ago:

“i don’t understand Your ways
and how they always work.
i don’t understand how You
can use this heart for good.
but i am trusting in the One
Who tells me i will see
this confusion around me turning
into beauty”

share your story of #brokennesstobeauty with this hashtag whether you’re on the other side or in the thick of it & trust that God is working in you & your struggle this very moment.

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